Wednesday 18 July 2012

15 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE OLYMPICS

The Olympics Games being held in London starts in just over a weeks time and the whole country has gone completely mad for it. In workplaces, pubs and prisons all across the country the talk has been non stop. Down the local parks, kids everywhere are now playing Badminton, Pole Vault and Handball and millions upon millions have been researching all the facts they can about the Games, so they can brag to their mates about what they know. Here are some facts for your own portfolio.


Hercules during the Olympics
1. 
The Olympic Games were first invented by the Greeks in 776 BC and were originally known as the Ancient Olympic Games, until Hercules and co-creator Zeus changed it to just The Olympic Games in 804 BC, as they felt it needed modernising.


2. 
Hercules, later had a film and television series made after him, but none of these ever featured a current Olympic event.


3. 
The marathon is a long distance race which lasts up to 5 days and was the only Olympic event that had a chocolate bar named after it. This delightful chocolate, caramel and nutty snack was traditionally awarded to the winner of the event every four years along with their gold medal, this however was stopped in 1992 after men's winner Hwang Young Cho had a severe nut allergy and was rushed to hospital. Cho survived the incident but the Marathon bar didn't and they subsequently went out of business.


4. 
Before the hurdles were introduced in 1896, athletes would have to just run a straight race without jumping over anything, so hurdlers such as cheeky Welsh chappy and ex silver medallist Colin Jackson would have had to run normally or go home.


5. 
Jamaican Usain Bolt currently holds the world record for the 100 metre sprint, recording a staggering time of 9.58 seconds, that is 0.04 seconds faster than a cheetah.


Phelps loves mash
6. 
American swimming champion Michael Phelps would let almost nothing stand in his way to acquire the fifteenth gold medal of his career this summer, but there is one thing that he wouldn't give up for a gold medal and that is mashed potato. Phelps just can't get enough of the whipped up potato and is said to have it with almost anything. So if it came down to it, Phelps would not be swapping his mash for gold.


7. 
London is the first city to host the Summer Olympic Games that begins with the letter L. Apart from Los Angeles in 1932 and 1984.


8. 
The Olympic Games are no stranger to a bit of cheating and a number of athletes have been found guilty of drug taking over the years. Performance enhancing drugs are not the only means of cheating though, at the Montreal games in 1976 Soviet Union's Alexandria Drotenkov was accused of missing out the cycling part of the Triathlon, going straight from the swimming to the running. Officials became suspicious when Drotenkov crossed the finish line still in her bathing costume and an hour and a half before the other competitors. Drotenkov was stripped of her gold medal and banned from the event.


9. 
Also at the Seoul Olympic Games, South Korea, 1988, table tennis competitor Wai Yu So Dum of China was found guilty of bringing his own table and using the extender on his opponents side. It wasn't until near the end of the first set his opponent, 18-0 down, noticed something was wrong and complained to the officials.


10. 
And in Beijing 2008 Britain's Tom Daly was accused of diving.


11.
 In Athens 2004 British marathon runner Paula Radcliffe became the first athlete to take a dump during an event. Taking a piss however is a lot more common, especially in sports such as synchronised swimming, water polo and judo.


12. 
The pole vault isn't an event for Polish competitors, it is in fact a track and field event where a competitor uses a long, flexible pole to try and propel themselves over a bar, but Polish people can take part.


13. 
Overall there are 26 sports being featured at London 2012. Originally there were 29 sports, but the egg and spoon race, beer pong and dwarf chucking were dropped after it was voted down by the do gooders at the IOC.




How London 2012 opening ceremony may look
14. 
Ex javelin champion Tessa Sanderson was always accused of having a sting in her tail by her opponents, a bit like a Scorpio would, but amazingly Sanderson was born on the 14th March making her a soft and gentle Pisces. Which must mean all that astrology stuff is nonsense. 


15. 
The opening ceremony at the Bird's Nest stadium in Beijing 2008 has been voted the best of all time. This performance featured spacemen, a flock of doves, fairies and thousands of fireworks and was performed by over 15,000 people. London 2012 is set to include NHS nurses and the countryside. Other possible themes are knife crime, traffic congestion, queuing, anti-social behaviour and rain. 



Thursday 5 July 2012

HAVE YOUR SAY!

Andy Murray is edging closer to a first Wimbledon final and some believe that this may finally be his year. Here are some opinions from the public via Post, Phone, E-mail, Twitter, Text message, Face to Face, Skype and Webcam as we ask the question CAN ANDY MURRAY WIN WIMBLEDON?


No!

Anon, via twitter


Let's put this way if he wins it, then he's British, if he doesn't then he's just a bloody Scotsman.

Miles Culverhouse, Oxshott via post


I'm sorry but he hasn't got a hope in hell, I think he'll reach the final where he will get soundly beaten.


R.Federer, Wimbledon via Webcam


Murray is da best playa in eng no doubtz fuck federer murray 2 win


Ballboy, via text


OMG! shuuut up Ballboy u r a dik head murray shuld play womenz tennis coz he plays like a gay


Ace Ben Server, via text


It is strange because he has a lot more passion and fight than Tim Henman ever had and certainly has more chance of winning than him, but I still just get the urge to shout common Tim whenever I'm watching a game, that's something that will never leave me.


Judy Murray, via Skype


"Er yes, yes I think he can do it why not, common Murray! Anyway my names Graham and I wondered whether you'd be interested in getting any double glazing"?...............


Graham, via phone



"I don't know mate, I don't really like Tennis, sorry who are you and what's this about?"


Anon, face to face